Biddy!?
Today I learned a new word. Well, a new slang term. My friend who is in a fraternity mentioned something about how he and his brothers refer to women as "Biddies". In it's most innocent form a biddie is a young, single attractive woman or a way to refer to a friend but it currently connotes a specific social group of women based on appearance. This use leaves no value for these individual women.
It pissed me off that my friend would use this term. Especially when he talks about his fraternity being known as the "gentleman's fraternity" on his campus. This title seems contradictory because of the dangerous effects using a loaded slang term to refer to members of the opposite sex poses. Biddie's etymology and current use is best explained by this definition listed on Urban dictionary (in England Biddy is an old woman):
Using a term that can be applied negatively to a wide variety of people limits the potential for interpersonal relationships. For example, how many times does "Look at those fricken' hippies!" lead to a conversation between the speaker and these hippies? Not very often. Perhaps in situations like these negative words are only used if there is already limited to no intention for an interaction. However, it is when people approach another person or percieved type of person with only negative bias and no hopes for communication that misunderstanding and hatred are bred. This happens between cultures, nations, religions, sexes and it can only lead to further seperation and eventual conflict unless people recongnize what their preconcieved notions are and work to test them. Not every mindful interaction will be positive (all sterotypes have some truth) but they will be more honest and this breaks the idea of a stereotype as a controlling reality. I've seen this in action in Bangkok. I was afraid of comming to Bangkok. I was afriad Bangkok was going to be all prostitution, despiration, sexuality and attempts to swindle the farang. Coming (I've only been near Khao San Road) hasn't changed this but it has made me understand what part these aspects play in daily lives and the economy, or, in other terms: why they are present. This understanding puts me at peace with Bangkok and leaves me wanting to learn more about it. This desire to further understand a person I would hope would be a leading motivation any time a person interacts with another.
I know Biddie is just a silly code name used in a Fraternity and that my friend doesn't used it in it's worst form, but i can see how its use has impacted the way that my friend enteracts with reality and in this way (because is it objectifies, simplifies and reduces the creditablity of women) its use poses a problem. I posted a picture of my self under the title, and question Biddie!? and wrote this long post about what I percevie the potienial dangers of biddie's s use are, because I wonder who I, or any woman becomes when she is viewed only in varrying degrees of biddie-ness.
1) Another definition from Urban Dictionary:
Today I learned a new word. Well, a new slang term. My friend who is in a fraternity mentioned something about how he and his brothers refer to women as "Biddies". In it's most innocent form a biddie is a young, single attractive woman or a way to refer to a friend but it currently connotes a specific social group of women based on appearance. This use leaves no value for these individual women.
It pissed me off that my friend would use this term. Especially when he talks about his fraternity being known as the "gentleman's fraternity" on his campus. This title seems contradictory because of the dangerous effects using a loaded slang term to refer to members of the opposite sex poses. Biddie's etymology and current use is best explained by this definition listed on Urban dictionary (in England Biddy is an old woman):
"Biddy" is actually a very interesting word because it has two separate origins, both fairly well-documented, which is unusual for a slang term. The primary meaning of "biddy" is "chicken," and it first appeared in the early 17th century. The word probably came from the nonsense syllables used to call chickens -- something like "here biddybiddybiddy," I suppose. By the late 18th century "biddy" had been adopted as a derogatory slang term for women, much in the same unfortunate way that "chick" was in the 1960's.From here biddie's meaning continues to change, this first reinvigeration was perhaps when men started referring to attractive women as biddies; women react in two ways (three or four if we count apathy or ignorance) to the use of biddie. Some women have reclaimed the term biddie from the common use which implies shallowness and slutishness, they are in fact proud to be referred to as a biddie and will call their friends biddies. There is one particular facebook group - yo mad biddies - (the creator of this group is male) where men and women bond over the title biddie: the men are in the group to look all the attractive women and the women come to flaunt their beauty and submit photographs of themselves under the title biddie. There are also many facebook groups that are groups of friends who refer to eachother as biddies. There are also a variety of "self-help" facebook groups that detest the people known as biddies. One of these groups is called "Stop the Biddie Revolution!". The description of this groups is (the creator of this group is female):
However, "biddy" in this sense might have died a welcome death had it not been for the influx of Irish immigrants into the U.S. in the early 19th century. Young Irish women often had their passage paid by upper-class American families, for whom they would then work as domestic servants while they paid off their debt. The practice was so widespread that such women came to be known as "Biddies," from a shortening of "Bridget," a common Irish women's name. This use of "biddie" reinvigorated the word, and ever since it has been employed by insolent children to torment their elders. [And still is in England]
Sometime in the last 20 years or so, the term was recycled to mean a woman of any age...
This particular definition of biddies resonates with the fact that my friend does say that biddies are a large portion of the population attending the fraternity parties on his campus and the other times that he has said that all the women who go to fraternity parties just want to have fun. By "have fun" he means: dancing, drinking and finding some one to hook-up with. This makes me not really optimistic about the potenital effects using the term biddie will have on way that these men will veiw women. For example, my friend considers himself quite worldly but when he speaks about his experiences at fraterntiy parties and talks about the women who attend the parties this it is very obvious that the world he is part of is much smaller than he realizes. Being part of this community has has created a set of terms for him to apply to this very small sampling of the population, but this sample seems to him to be congruent with all women on his campus and most women in America. This is very dangerous, as Stop the Biddie Revolution acknowledges, the context in which a women will be refered to as a biddie is just one portion of this women's life, looking like a "biddie" doesn't reduce the IQ, modivation or the character of a women. This is exactly what lipstick feminism tries to show us, women can symultaniously be smoking hot and highly intellegent. The idea that most women, even on college campuses where this term is most often used, fit the discription of a biddie issued by "Stop the Biddie Revolution" is false. So the use of biddie in this way creates a warped ideal women atleast from the prespective of a non-leg-or-armpit shaving, teeshirt wearing woman that does not want her character to be judged by her appearence (I don't deny the importance of presentablity, but the reality that it comes in many shades and styles).
Biddie: A high maintenance girl who, though reasonably attractive, is usually meant to be a space-filler at parties. She travels in packs of fellow biddies and does not offer social skills or intelligence. Biddies usually keep to their pack of biddies and rarely leave other than to have sex with some guy. They can be seen drinking bud light from a straw so they do not smear their lipgloss. They play beerpong only when shitfaced, and they suck. Often described as a "dumb ass bitch who sometimes sluts around." These girls are usually invited to parties so that the guys at the party can get laid, easily. They wear mostly preppy expensive clothing and Ugg Boots (if you see a girl wearing ugg boots and there is no snow on the ground she is 99% likely to be a biddie). When taken away from the pack one may find the girl is not actually that bitchy, or that slutty, or that dumb, but when in the pack she resorts to group mentality.
LETS BAN TOGETHER AND END BIDDIE-ISM!!! We must stop this now before all girls get a bad rap. If you know someone who is fighting from biddie-ism, or if you are suffering yourself please join this group. If you would rather hang out with girls who actually have a brain rather than a bunch of dumb space fillers join this group.
Using a term that can be applied negatively to a wide variety of people limits the potential for interpersonal relationships. For example, how many times does "Look at those fricken' hippies!" lead to a conversation between the speaker and these hippies? Not very often. Perhaps in situations like these negative words are only used if there is already limited to no intention for an interaction. However, it is when people approach another person or percieved type of person with only negative bias and no hopes for communication that misunderstanding and hatred are bred. This happens between cultures, nations, religions, sexes and it can only lead to further seperation and eventual conflict unless people recongnize what their preconcieved notions are and work to test them. Not every mindful interaction will be positive (all sterotypes have some truth) but they will be more honest and this breaks the idea of a stereotype as a controlling reality. I've seen this in action in Bangkok. I was afraid of comming to Bangkok. I was afriad Bangkok was going to be all prostitution, despiration, sexuality and attempts to swindle the farang. Coming (I've only been near Khao San Road) hasn't changed this but it has made me understand what part these aspects play in daily lives and the economy, or, in other terms: why they are present. This understanding puts me at peace with Bangkok and leaves me wanting to learn more about it. This desire to further understand a person I would hope would be a leading motivation any time a person interacts with another.
I know Biddie is just a silly code name used in a Fraternity and that my friend doesn't used it in it's worst form, but i can see how its use has impacted the way that my friend enteracts with reality and in this way (because is it objectifies, simplifies and reduces the creditablity of women) its use poses a problem. I posted a picture of my self under the title, and question Biddie!? and wrote this long post about what I percevie the potienial dangers of biddie's s use are, because I wonder who I, or any woman becomes when she is viewed only in varrying degrees of biddie-ness.
Further examples of the horrible uses biddie can have:
Appendixes:
1) Another definition from Urban Dictionary:
A dumbass bitch, usually 18 or younger. picture it: short shorts, ugg boots, string straight hair and mad eye makeup for a high school frosh. they go out at night looking for the party so they can get shitty on mikes hard, cheap wine, or other people's alcohol. they have a bun on the top of their head as if they rolled out of bed looking like a pre-pubescent prostitute. being a biddy means being dumb is the cool thing to do.2) The words that appear as links of ideas associated with "biddy" on Urban Dictionary:
biddy3) The discription of "Biddies R' Us" another facebook group founded by a women against biddies:
