Running from the night

I'm running from the night, shifting locations, dodging persons all with the purpose of extending my use of daylight hours. But when the sun goes down, what changes? And when I run what do I miss? I'm currently in Chiang Mai Thailand, other than needing balance myself due to congestion, I arose with the desire to write. "Yes!" I felt this is the time when it all happens when the paper finally flows out of me when the contradicting and innumerable variables fit easily into place and become a paper. This is the time that I will not be consumed by worries about my relationship and making it through the next 22 days in Thailand and the subsequent time until my arrival home. Instead i will be wholly consumed with the fire of a person with something to say that knows how to say it. I'm strong until 10:30 - I check my email - and at 11:30am i begin to feel the night creeping up, by noon, I'm resigned: the day is over. By six o'clock the sun will set. But what changes when the sun goes down? There is the transition between use of natural light and dependence on florescent - it makes my eyes strain. I've never been great with coping with change but i have never put myself through so much change, of location, or food source, available resources, daily duties. So why do I do it? some is unavoidable and the rest is for isolation but in isolation I am only Amy easily over powered by the night. I used to Thrive in the night, write all my papers in the night. what has changed in me? How can i maintain my "plateau of intensity" - find stillness in motion. The night brings dawn and the slow march to December 11th (the day my portfolio is due), is that my issue? The world may never know but now I have to return writing, I need to say something.