(View from my seat of the double decker bus)Arriving at 5am in Mae Sot yesterday I ran through my usual thoughts when I arrive alone in a town I've never been, in a country I do not speak the language, in place where I am warned petty theft is abound, and have men immediately approach me offering their services as a driver:
1 I become aware that I have no idea where I am and am at the complete mercy of whom ever I agree to become a customer of.
2 I place my value to the driver, or unknown figures around, as everything valuable I am traveling. No longer Amy, I am a: laptop-wallet-US passport-camera-cellphone.
In transition with all these items I am hard pressed to find peace. I am constantly re-adjusting, looking at, assuring everything is still in its place. When I meet someone their kind advice to "be careful" traveling , especially alone, strikes horror into my heart: having let go my guard with them they now sadistically say "be careful" having launched unnoticed heist of my valuables. This has never been the case, but I thought this twice while in Mo Chit bus terminal in Bangkok (for 11 hours). Once while meeting a Burmese man who approached me when he saw "The Voice of Hope" the book of interviews with Aung San Suu Kyi and my lungi - a man's bottom in Burma; and a second time of a Thai woman I met in the bathroom who was going home to Chiang Mai.
During this particular trip I was also told to not mention my interest in Burmese issues, especially recongized and non-recognized refugees as the reason for a trip to Mae Sot.
Is all this self-inflicted terror nesseccary or should I allow myself to trust more in possitivity and the amount our thoughts effect situation? During my time as a GC student I do not think I can allow myself to let this guard down, as I do need my laptop, passport, and fluidity of money.
Once I start with my placement I think I can begin to be simply Amy (perhaps student Amy) again.
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