Push Harder

I resolved to challenge myself this year to set and follow goals, setting goals being nothing new, accomplishing them being so. I know/knew it would be hard, for a reforming slacker, someone who can accomplish greatness, but falls short of finishing academic projects within the assigned time frame to the level they have been envisioned.

Reforming from being a total slacker, especially academically, is a bit like learning to crawl. My goals have to start small, pushing up to my hands first and dragging my legs before learning to synergize my motor functions. We are currently in the middle of the session in Taiwan and, I’m not on track to finish my studies at the standard I impose upon myself. Three weeks in, and I have already noticed a decline in my motivation. It is a self initiated decline in motivation, as it always is, but this time I have sabotaged myself in a much more diabolical way than my standard procrastination. No, this time afraid of all that lies ahead of me and the fact that I am capable of actualizing my vague and idealistic goals for a life of informed social action has caused me to throw in an anchor that has wrenched my legs out from underneath me; leaving them dragging as a struggle to crawl forward. This anchor was thrown out of fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of inadequacy, fear of irrevocable uprooting.

I am in the business of studying religion, something that grounds people, while and by studying religion I am being forced to reflect upon myself. When I look towards my grounding I don’t see anything coherent, this is what I wanted, I wanted to bulldoze what I knew and build upon the rubble through my experience in Friends Global World (as well as rely on myself and break my slacking tendencies) but it scares me. I have taken on full responsibility for myself, destructing old habits, and coming out from under my shelter to receive honest criticism from others to help me achieve the potential I see within myself.

In my fear I have tried to rekindle an old relationship, an option that has been available for some time now, which has remained dormant in a friendship. I have continually snubbed the idea of a relationship as I thought that our differences would prohibit me from venturing and creating the life I want. I recognized recently that this person has been more influential than most in creating a vehicle for me to reach my potential and that this is an important quality for a relationship. This realization in conjunction with my desire to feel grounded is what lead me pursue the relationship again. Luckily I was denied, it stung, but I realize that knowing the extra time I would have to put into a relationship and the comfort that is added by having one would be added weight and would make it harder for my arms to drag me as I work towards perfected locomotion. It is not practical at this moment and I have to be prepared to meet new things as I move ahead. I am thankful that I have a friend who, whether it was his intention or not, knows me well enough to stop me from throwing in the anchor.

Women

This evening I was overcome with a deep sense of appreciation for the unique opportunity I have this year to study and live with a group of such beautiful, strong, funny, intelligent, caring and talented women. When I hear about interesting activities, studies, travels etc of other women I immediately begin finding something in my life that I think is on par with this, or if I find nothing become jealous and outwardly respond excitedly but truly am belittling it in my mind. This is something I am not proud of, and I have been struggling to constantly remind myself that life is not a competition and that I can learn much more from other women if I take my self-halo off.

Friends Global World Program from what I have seen is predominately women, as is our Comparative Religion and Culture group this year. They are not the glitzy, fashion girls I walk past on the street and generally (as well as sadly) discount as decent human beings, no more than a pretty face – a theory that has constantly been disproven but never modified effectively. The Friends Global World breed are compassionate, hard working (when push comes to shove), do it for themselves women who usually excel in some art form or another, qualities I consider to be the most important within myself, and for a woman/kick-ass person to posses. It is proving to be difficult to reeducate my ego that became so active during high school where I felt most of the women in my peer group were petty. Reeducate it, to understand and accept that I am part of group of women who have chosen to dedicate their educational career to being compassionate global citizens. Every one of them just as, or more phenomenal than I and if they are more phenomenal then I (it is generally the case that we each have a place where we excel) they have been great resources that I anticipate will help me now and in the future. More importantly they have answered my hopes that women would make a better showing for themselves.

I think this overwhelming appreciation means I have begun to actuate my desire to allow myself to become a giving and receiving part of this community of women and set aside my hereby useless self-glorification.

Taiwanese Dao of Tea: Adaptation.

So, today I tried bagging my tea as suggested to me by Taiwanese people. I decided to try it because in my encounters so far with tea in Taiwan, the inbibeor would not come in oral contact with soaked tea leaves and I want to learn how to do things "properly" when it comes to tea. I usually detest tea bags because the leaves are generally cut up, of poor quality and are only used once. Here I added my own tea leaves and I was encouraged to re-steep the tea until it lost flavor - as I do with leaves when they are non-bagged. These do-it-yourself tea bags were not my first encounter with self bagging techniques (and technology), at Franklin Peirce College when I prepared tea for myself I occasionally would use a tea ball, because it made clean up easier. Some souls are less brave (or gross) when it comes to putting non-food in their mouth than I am so I would also use the ball when brewing for others. The problem with a tea ball is, it tastes like metal! I was given the tea ball by my parents right before leaving for my Freshman year at college, but they weren't the first ones to do battle toward ending my leaf-munching while tea-drinking days. My track coach before them had purchased me a metal leaf holder to use; maybe the nalgene of tea I used to carry around full of Jasmine green tea leaves looked funny!? This strainer had a large handle so it was hard to use for my nalgene and made my tea taste like metal, this encounter made me swear off separating tea and the leaves - so I was happy in China where tea leaves would float in my cup all the time - it was only through laziness(tea bag means no leaves stuck to your cup), and the will to be considered a knowledgeable tea drinker that I tried it again.

Using tea bags does affect the taste of the tea but I haven't developed my tea palate enough to explain what the difference is.

Definition?

Why is there a need to define? Do we miss something if we don’t define? Where do our definitions come from? What things can be universally defined? How thoroughly should we define? Are there certain things aspects of life that have to be defined, while others don’t? These are questions I have as I learn more about how to be student and how to use my own voice. The questions usually come when I think of a particular thing that I might nod my head to when a professor, tour guide, or a fellow student mention it. I nod to say I know what they are talking about, but sometimes I wonder if really have the authority to nod. I wonder: because I am quick to accept things do I end up “defining” things vaguely - perhaps in Heidi’s example in class of westerner’s tendancy: good or bad? I might know one or two things about Guanyin and nod at her mention, but am I ready to discuss her at length? No.

Defining words and concepts and using them correctly is an obvious necessity if humans are to communicate, especially if we are to join in academic discourse. While people write introductions to explain their context for how they present their ideas (use words, terms) if you use a word in a new way, or change a concept you have to make a really strong argument as to why. And at this point I don’t feel confident that I have enough knowledge to correctly join most conversations even ones related to my studies and am overwhelmed by the eventual prospect. This feeling of inadequacy has flourished in Friends Global World program in which I have to simultaneously and deeply introduce myself to many topics. So, while I understand definition’s benefits, I rebel and question. First, as we all do, whether the current definitions are correct; and second, whether clinging to definition produces narrow mindedness. An example relevant to our studies would be morals.

Do I need to define my morals and thus religion? Some people would answer yes, I must define my morals, usually with the argument that especially in my position of being introduced to a wide variety of teachings, that I cannot understand them without a frame to view through and make comparisons to. While others take to the approach that no teaching, or set of values I could adopt or create would be without flaw, so it is best to continually introduce yourself to different teachings, taking in new parts and adjusting your own view, so that you can better understand people and situations you are applying said morals to.
Do I have a religion? No. Am I looking to find one? I don’t think I am searching for one, but instead, peering into cultures to identify some of their common paths and understand them so I can understand the route of many conflicts of our time. So for now I am taking a lesson from the Dao (the way):

The Dao that can be defined is not the everlasting Dao.

If we consider all religions specific paths, then they all reflect this aspect of the Dao. All of the major religions have different branches, usually formed when followers found they needed to redefine the teachings. I believe that things can be defined but not indefinitely, they must always be reassessed. We shouldn’t fall into habits of thoughtlessly using phrases or words, or following traditions and I must follow this example in my life.

Taiwanese Dao of Tea: To Bag or Not to Bag?

Upon arrival in Taiwan I was disappointed in the variety and quality of tea available in stores. In Hangzhou there was usually at least one convenience store on each block. Boy, let me tell you; life there was pretty convenient. Something I particularly enjoyed was the wide variety of teas that were available everywhere. The store closest to me had teas and opened a conjoined shop that sold only teas. I began my exposure to and love for Chinese Teas in high school and obtained a basic tea-literacy through a friendship with a Chinese family before I even conceived of going to China to study. Once I arrived in Hangzhou the city famous for Dragon Well Green tea and Chrysanthemum used to make infusions – “only tea, is tea” – and I tried a few types of tea, viewed and used different types of mugs, and visited tea fields I felt even more confident in my knowledge of tea.

In Hangzhou and the other places I visited in China loose tea leaves were preferred for brewing (over bags) and were left in your cup or tea pot to have water continually added to it. This is how I brewed tea in the United States also. I have come to enjoy chewing on the occasional tea leaf. The first night in Taiwan, I went to the local grocery store (which doesn’t carry fresh fruits or vegetables) and only saw tea in bags, with an alarming proportion being Lipton’s! I immediately was concerned for the Taiwanese people, surely this part of their culture hadn’t been destroyed by globalization!

I did eventually find loose tea, in the same store I initially thought was devoid of non-bagged goodness, and began sporting a giant mug that I would put tea leaves in and refill with water throughout the day. I was glad to finally get this part of Chinese, and I assumed, Taiwanese Culture up and running in my new home. Then today Eden, the coordinator of activities and classes in Taiwan, a Taiwanese woman gave me a packet that looked like tissues. It was a packet of bags to put tea in. Eden said that she had felt bad for me drinking tea with the leaves always floating. How funny that we saw things exactly opposite.

Taiwanese Dao of Tea: Oolong and KTV in a Taiwanese Home.

Today we went to the National Palace Museum. The Museum showcasing the Chinese artifacts that were brought with the Kuomintang to Taiwan when they fled the Mainland. Many people in China are pissed that Taiwan won't give them back and the people of Taiwan say that China would have just destroyed these artifacts during the Cultural Revolution anyways. I have mixed loyalties so I won't expand any further on the museum. After the museum we were invited back to the home of our coordinator in Taiwan for Oolong and Karaoke! There was quite some ritual for the tea preparation.

Tea preparation and serving essentials (we had two different types of Oolong):

• Tea leaves
• Bamboo scoop to take leaves from package
• Ceramic bowl with part of the lip extended and rounded in order to make a spout to pour leaves into tea brewing pot
• Pot for brewing tea
• A large kettle filled with previously boiled, and still hot, water
• A pot and strainer to pour brewed tea into before serving.
• A short wooden stand to prepare and pour tea into cups over
• Tea cups for all tea drinkers present
• A separate set of pots and cups for each variety of tea.
• Snacks!
  

The Layout:



The preparation for the first type of tea:


Each steeping had a specific length, the first one for each type of tea was shorter i.e. one minute for the first steep and two for the second. When the desired steeping time was over the brewed tea had to be transferred to a new pot. The teapot being lifted in this picture is the one that has the tea once it is brewed. The cups in the left-hand corner are for the second type of tea. This tea was poured into the tall cups on the wooden stand, waited for a few seconds, then the tea was poured into the shorter cups and the tall cups were handed out for us to smell the tea. The tall cups were followed by the small and now we were free to sip on the tea.

It was good!

There was only one set of tea cups for the second tea variety, and it was more bitter. The second tea was brewed in the red clay pot. Each tea made many brews. When soaked the tea leaves seemed to fill the entire teapot. The pots, as pictured, were quite small. We sat around for about half an hour tasting the different teas and munching on the snacks before we were "all hopped up on Oolong" and ready to sing Karaoke, but when it was time we picked songs from a Karaoke book, typed in the song numbers and sang our hearts out. We even got to hear Taiwanese songs sung by the father, a Japanese song sung by the mother, a duet in Taiwanese by both and as well as song by our classmates, our coordinator and teacher. It was said that they, especially the father, drink tea and sing Karaoke almost everyday.

Karaoke, Ka-la-O.K. and KTV are all the same - glorious - thing.

The World, Revisited.

I have a world map hanging in my room. I love maps, I love looking to see where I am, where others are, what geographical features others encounter, where conflicts are, where I might go. A personal goal is to know all of the countries (and if possible a few of the nationalities within each country). My knowledge is pretty flimsily and I can never anticipate a time that I don’t look and discover something I’ve never seen before. Specific gaps in my knowledge are Eastern Europe, Central Asia, Western and Southern Africa, Maritime Southeast Asia, Southwest Pacific, and Central and South America all appear spotty in my mind. That leaves, my home, the land of my ancestors and my field of study the only places that I wouldn’t misidentify a country. My huge lapse shows that I don’t know very much of the world at all.

This evening I walked into my room fresh from a group chat at our favorite Taiwanese coffeehouse and was inspired upon seeing my map, to flip it upside down – as it now hangs. What do I gain from this new perspective? My viewing habits have changed, my home American, and one of the largest splotches of solid color (it is a political map) that had been about eye level and easily drew my gaze is now no longer a focal point. I remember seeing a map from Australia with the same orientation and I think what this flip has done is draw my eyes away, and out of choreographed quick-scans of the map and forces me to reassess the shapes of each country; and as I relearn each Country’s shape, more deeply understand where it appears.

I don’t consider myself ignorant of the world, but with my admissions of lacking even the basic knowledge of name and placement of many countries – or more accurately: land with man drawn borders that, hypothetically divide two nations but rarely seem to do so without conflict– I am much more ignorant than I generally admit. I hope this new orientation will effectively coincide with the destruction of barriers in cultural understanding that my Friends Global World education brings.

Taiwan, China?

I arrived in Taiwan two days ago, my return to Asia after a summer in the United States of America. This will be my second year of study both in the Friends-Global Program, and in the eastern hemisphere. Last year I studied: history, language and culture of China while living in Hangzhou located in the Southeast of the People’s Republic of China; and this year I am participating in a yearlong program entitled Comparative Religion and Culture (CRC). CRC travels to Taiwan, Thailand, India and Turkey, beginning September 9^th, 2008 and running until May 2009. I am thankful to have the opportunity to study in Taiwan but, having already fallen in love with mainland China, I am finding it difficult to know how to address the people of Taiwan and cannot yet understand how much of my knowledge of China, Chinese customs and the “Chinese mindset” apply to the Taiwanese.

China became a home to me, and created a loyalty within my heart, a phenomenon I believe most homo sapiens experience once deep learning takes place (Once something ceases to be foreign). This is what is argued by groups working towards peace in human conflicts that employ dialogue between not only politicians but citizens as well (could give examples). A manifestation of my new loyalty was cheering for China in the Olympics even when seemingly unpopular with human rights groups that generally hold sway in my life. And the sting that I felt when every complement I issued towards the Chinese Olympic presentation in front of my father (explain later) or my liberal friends was countered with a fact that usually either pertained to the young girl who “sang” in the opening ceremony while the true voice came from a girl who was not featured because she was deemed “not cute enough” to appear or in regards to the Chinese gymnasts that might not have been sixteen - the minimum age stated by the International Olympics Committee. I felt more loyalty towards Chinese athletes than I did towards the American athletes who I tired of the coverage solely being on, hoping instead for an event without Americans in it (some other time explain my feeling of patriotism). My root-for-the-underdog instinct was instead a root-for-the-under-featured instinct. In the medal count I was always comparing the Chinese to the Americans, stating that of course it was only the Gold medals that count.

Many times in conversation during the summer I said “we” when referring to “Chinese people”. Taiwan is, by regulation, part of China, but not part of my China. When I refer to China I don’t have Hong Kong or Taiwan, or Tibet; which have their own identity, political or economic force, and government, in mind. However, according to Beijing - which until a war or the United Nations says otherwise, ultimately decides – they are all part of China. I do have the tendency to state party policy as absolute truth, part of my loyalty to China. Part of the curriculum, and my nature of being overly sensitive to the possibility of offending someone (before I know them), is cultural sensitivity. So I am faced with the question of how to refer to the people of Taiwan. (If writing a paper include info about the foreign influence waves and how that affected Taiwan, and then the moving of the Gumingdong to Taiwan and perhaps the subsequent immigration waves.) I am also quite interested about the influence that Christianity has had. A good place to study this impact maybe FuRen university students and their points of view, whether students are usually Jesuits, whether they all are Christians.

So, how do we learn anything? Go to the source, I would like to send a questionnaire to our “Buddies” at Fu Ren Catholic University. Our Buddies are Taiwanese Fu Ren students that speak English well who have volunteered to help us with questions about where to do something nearby, to be our friends, to answer questions etc.